In this wonderful episode of the “Women Outside the Garden” series, host Terri Petersen speaks with Megan Verno, a clinical mental health counselor in Utah who specializes in religious deconstruction and trauma recovery. In it, Megan shares her personal journey of growing up devoutly LDS, marrying in the temple, but also of eventually feeling suffocated by the weight of perfectionism, prescribed gender roles, and the expectation to be the perfect Mormon wife and mother — an experience she describes as being “buried.”
Putting on her therapist hat, Megan explains how suffocation like this can lead to maladaptive behaviors like perfectionism, people-pleasing, resentment, OCD, and scrupulosity. Terri and she then talk about anger as it often is the first emotion to emerge when a woman finally “splits open” and breaks free of those constraints.
In a terrific section, Megan outlines two contrasting parenting styles: “ authoritarian” LDS parenting (which passes down certainty and truth claims) and “authoritative” parenting (which passes down values, respects autonomy, and allows children to question and think for themselves). Both she and Terri share personal stories of how controlling parenting and church systems contributed to their own children’s struggles, including eating disorders driven by a need to reclaim control.
As they wrap up, Megan describes the generational baggage passed down as a “bag of rocks” and notes that breaking the cycle means accepting the discomfort of disappointing others while choosing to parent and live by your own values rather than inherited certainty. The conversation closes with a hopeful metaphor: women breaking out of their small containers and growing deeper roots in the wild.
Listen in! Share it with those you think of who might be interested!
Link:
Megan’s website: https://www.novonexus.org